RULES I LIVE BY - So I don't make the same mistakes

About nine years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would never put up with people not giving a shit about how I feel, what I believe, what my opinions are and would never put up with gaslighting again. That promise was made because I allowed the same person to break my heart for the third time and I was left feeling the same way I did the previous two times. Yes, that was my own damned fault. The phone call that led to that promise cracked me like a glow stick and it shook me so hard that the light finally came on. Now that the light is on, I can’t shut it off.

I started journaling about that time and making a list of rules to live by as I discovered my mistakes in several aspects of my life. The list has been made over the last nine years and has been adjusted and tweaked for one reason or another. Usually, it was because of a bad decision that equated to me falling back into old habits and expecting a different result this time. Yes, that is insanity!

Living by these rules has allowed me to react differently by thinking about how I handled a similar situation before that ended up as a shit sandwich with side of fries. These situations can be remedied, if I put forth the effort to change something about myself. Some may be harsh, closed off or a little angry, but believe me, there is a reason for each one of them. I would also like to add that I am responsible for each mistake made and for sticking to the rules that were made because of them.

So, here are some of my rules that I now live by:

1. Words don’t mean shit! People can say anything they want, but what do they do? Their actions will tell you everything you need to know. There are no hidden messages.

2. If people keep showing you that they don’t give a shit, believe them. They are telling you something, so listen up!

3. Happy people do not go around destroying others because they can. If they are personally attacking you, it probably isn’t about you at all.

4. A person will gaslight to avoid responsibility for their actions. That is control and manipulation so ALWAYS stay the fuck away from them.

5. Never ask for change of anyone if I am not willing to do it myself. Otherwise, it is control and manipulation, and you want no part of that!

6. NEVER DISRESPECT YOURSELF AGAIN!

7. Never change to please others if they are not willing to change for you. Being a people pleaser will suck the life out of you. Don’t do it again.

8. Never compromise your happiness for a man. A real man would never want you to do that to yourself.

9. The only true apology is changed behavior. If they continue with the same behavior after a verbal apology, they aren’t sorry for what they did. They are sorry for getting called out. This can go back to rule # 1.

10. Always check yourself for your own bullshit because sometimes you can be the asshole too!

11. If an ex-boyfriend reaches out to you on social media, immediately tell them to fuck off! No exceptions and if any doubt, refer to rules # 2, 3, 4, 6, 8 and 9.

12. Keep evolving and never stick with one mindset. Otherwise, you could start looking back and that is not where you are going. Keep eyes forward at all times!

13. Boundaries are not set for people to like them. Don’t keep setting a boundary with the same person. They don’t care about it and are telling you something. Listen to it and refer to rule # 2. The guilt you feel for setting the boundary is a sign of how much you are conditioned to abandon yourself and you will never do that again. Refer to rule #6.

14. If someone calls you a bitch because you do not put up with disrespectful behavior, thank them for noticing and go on about your day!

Do any of you have rules that you live by and will not deviate from? If so, I would love to hear them so I can learn something new today and give me some food for thought. Evolving as a person and setting new rules for myself and other people has led me to happiness I never knew existed. I just had to quit abandoning and disrespecting myself and quit making the same fucking mistakes. Yay! I finally learned.

That is my rant for the day! Have a great Wednesday, we are halfway to the weekend